Category Archives: American Youth
Damn Jenius
Would you rather: A.Chaperon the Senior Prom B.Give yourself your own appendectomy Think hard about this; it is a difficult decision. As appealing as option B sounds, I decided to take the high road, set myself up for a challenge … Continue reading
Filed under American Youth, People are Idiots
Licking Doorknobs for a Day Off
Question: What has the ability to reach the masses, the hysteria of McCarthyism and the death toll of sky diving? AIDS? Nope, too 1980′s. World Hunger? Nope, higher deaths per square inch of sub-Saharan Africa than the entire sky ventures combined. … Continue reading
Filed under American Youth, Things That Upset Me
Everyone Gets a Trophy
What is this world coming to? At what point did we ever think that our children and schools would be on the verge of implosion? Correct: rotting from the inside out. Students running amuck, waving guns and gang signs around a rite of passage into grade 10, rather than hard work and decent grades, not to mention comradely and self respect. But, we wonder why things are so fucked up and why we have produced a disgusting society of maladjusted and unaccountable human beings. We can’t tell Johnny that he is anti-social and “not trying hard enough” or even the worst of it, that he is just plain fucking LAZY. So, Johnny just skates by and we praise him for things he should do in the first place, like come to school. Good idea. Give the whole team a damn trophy just for showing up and reward those who can’t perform because in real life, everyone gives a shit about your shortcomings. Continue reading
Filed under American Youth
Did You Want People to See Your Ass?
These are not leggins; they are tights. Get it right. I know you thought you would save money by NOT buying real authentic leggins from American Apparel, but this isn’t the subsitute. It was cheap because, well a pair of … Continue reading
Filed under American Youth, People are Idiots, Uncategorized
Glorified Janitor
One of the highlights of being in the reputable profession of education is being someone’s bitch. I enjoy student’s coming into my class and pulling the shades down, forcing out the only remnants of life beyond these classroom walls … Continue reading
Filed under American Youth, Archive Posts
Nuts: They Changed My Life
Mr. P was an interesting man. He had funny little colloquialisms and mannerisms, which was great for a teacher in a blow-off class. I remember little of what he taught me, except the effects of polyester, which in any case could be a valuable lesson. My only memory of gym class is Mr. P wearing too tight polyester that offensively showcased his nut-sack. Now, this was before the days of sue happy Americans and teachers having inappropriate relationships with students. Nonetheless, I am traumatized.
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Filed under American Youth, Archive Posts
Choke on a Bus Pass
This is real world ideology and social Darwinism: if you can hack it, then you will be successful. If you can’t, then there are plenty of food service jobs and DPW shifts that gladly need coverage. If we didn’t let people think they are entitled to self-fulfillment, then maybe they would be more likely to achieve it.
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Filed under American Youth, Archive Posts
Wasted Talent: A Tell-all Memoir
Become another statistic, please, because the worst possible tragedy in all of mankind is wasted talent. It is such an epic defeat when a young minority student refuses to see the light. If I could potentially become another unwed teenage … Continue reading
Filed under American Youth
I Need a New Boss! Mine is Stinky!
Seriously…does anyone really like his boss? We are all a bit envious of golfouting Friday’s, a corner office, free time, superiority and a high as shit pay check for surfing the web all fucking day. Comments like “when I was in … Continue reading
Filed under American Youth
